Inspection Date: October 20, 2023
Prepared For: C.N. System
Prepared By: Depression & Anxiety Inspection Consultants
Dear Mx. System,
Thank you for choosing us to perform for your inspection. To reassure you, the inspection itself and the attached report comply with the requirements of the Standard Protocol of our National Association.
The report was prepared for your exclusive use. We did not intend the involvement of any third parties. As such, we are not responsible to any therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists you may choose to involve.
This report is a snapshot of the mind, recording the conditions on the given date. We cannot predict future behavior, and, as such, we cannot be held responsible for any changes that may occur after the inspection. If you so choose, we are available for a revisit to update our report.
Again, thank you very much for choosing us to perform your mental inspection. We offer a satisfaction guarantee and will return your fee if you are not satisfied with our findings.
Sincerely,
D&A Inspection Consultants
Summary
This summary outlines significant issues we identified that need to be addressed in the short term. There may be others we did not identify.
This section is provided as a courtesy and should not be considered a substitute for reading the entire report.
Hormones
Production, Distribution
Condition: Failed generator | Broken supply line (Previous repairs noted)
Implication(s): Imminent collapse
Location: Midline
Task: Replace
Time: Immediate
Cost: Natural or synthetic substitute
Cognitive Function
Rational Thinking, Risk Assessment, Social Engagement
Condition: Overheated coils | Shorted wires
Implication(s): Electrical overload | Shock
Location: Amygdala
Task: Improve
Time: Immediate
Cost: Lifetime of therapy
Self-Worth
Confidence, Self-Perception
Condition: Patched holes | Excessive wear and tear
Implication(s): Weakened foundation
Location: Prefrontal cortex
Task: Repair
Time: Immediate
Cost: Lifetime of therapy OR Lifetime of understanding friends and family
The remainder of the report describes each of the mind’s systems and details our recommendations for improvements. Limitations that restricted our inspection are included, as well.
Observations & Recommendations
Hormones
Serotonin Production
Condition: Failed generator—prone to shorting out without warning despite ample power supply
Implication(s): Unreliable in an emergency (or even during daily use)
Location: Midline of the brain (also suspect further problems in the stomach and entire gut-brain interface)
Task: Replace with a more reliable source
Time: Within next three months
Cost: Natural or synthetic substituteSerotonin Distribution
Condition: Broken supply line resulting in loss throughout brain synapses (previous—unsuccesful—repairs noted)
Implication(s): Imminent collapse of the entire system
Location: Entire hormonal pipeline of the brain
Task: Replace with functional distribution system
Time: Within two weeks
Cost: Natural or synthetic substitute with demonstrated reliable uptakeComments
Additional hormone leaks were noted and may continue to occur at any time. Such leaks may happen without warning (particularly during high-stress events, such as emotional storms). These breaches should be addressed promptly to avoid further damage to other systems within the brain. A leak within the hormones does not mean the mind is faulty and needs to be replaced. However, we recommend weekly tune-ups with a qualified professional to minimize the risk of future leaks.
Cognitive Function
Rational Thinking
Condition: Overheated coils | Overstretched wires | Excessive connections in single panel
Implication(s): Electrical shock | Fire hazard (metaphorically speaking)
Location: Amygdala
Task: Improve and streamline the definition of “rational” to one approximating a true representation
Time: In the next week
Cost: Lifetime of regular meetings with a licensed therapistRisk Assessment
Condition: Shorted wires | Overloaded breaker panel | Excessive wire connections for current tolerance of breaker panel | Overheated wires
Implication(s): Electrical overload of the entire system | Fire hazard | Electrical shock | Catastrophic meltdown
Location: Amygdala and accompanying sympathetic nervous system
Task: Improve to a semi-reasonable level of catastrophizing (Suggest only allowing one incidence of “End of the World” thinking per worry list)
Time: ASAP before system experiences a complete meltdown
Cost: Lifetime (possibly longer) of therapySocial Engagement
Condition: Abandoned wire
Implication(s): Failure of the system from persistent disuse
Location: Prefrontal cortex (suspected but unable to find)
Task: Improve from current state of nothing
Time: Within the next six months
Cost: Lifetime of encouragement from licensed therapist (most likely through Zoom sessions to avoid physical engagement)Comments
Overall, the cognitive functions show excessive wear and tear beyond their age. Suspect a lack of routine maintenance. The likelihood of a system failure during an upcoming time of need (for instance, an emotional breakdown) is high. We strongly recommend a thorough discussion with the maintenance organization of your choice. Remember: it is not possible to replace these features!
Self-Worth
Confidence
Condition: Patched holes | Noticeable gaps | Sections of weakness
Implication(s): Weakened foundation | Concerns for collapse | Complete breakdown
Location: Prefrontal cortex
Task: Repair utilizing stronger materials
Time: Within the next year
Cost: Lifetime of understanding friends and family (consider supplementation with licensed therapy)Self-Perception
Condition: Excessive wear and tear | Damaged sections | Weak spots
Implication(s): Chance of structural collapse | Irreparable damage to interior
Location: Prefrontal cortex
Task: Repair (recommend bolstering with care and understanding)
Time: Within the next three days
Cost: Lifetime of therapy supplemented with encouragement and understanding from friends and familyComments
Damage to self-worth is often caused by conditions experienced outside the brain. The psyche isn’t built as strong as the skull that contains it. If doubt is allowed to collect, it will leak into the mind and build. Allowing such negativity to wash away from the thought centers is important. We recommend engaging in activities designed to boost dopamine and discourage questions such as, “What if I’m not good enough?”