Game of Bruises
When You Play the Game of Bruises, You Know Where It Came From or You Don't. There is No Middle Ground
My intention to mark National Pain Awareness Month conflicted with my body’s decision to celebrate We-Haven’t-Been-Sick-in-Three-Years. However, as my immune system finally recognized the difference between ME and the virus in my lungs, I am managing to sneak in a final essay on pain.
Hope you enjoy it!
Ankle Stormborn Sprain
Ankle Stormborn of House Sprain, Twenty-Sixth (Twenty-Seventh?) of Her Name, Queen of the Scream-Inducers and the First Fallers, Protector of Absolutely Nothing (Apparently), the Mother of All Profanity, the Most Purple of the Great Bruise Collection, the Unhealed, the Breaker of all Bruise Records.
The weakest member of House Sprain, prone to collapsing under the slightest provocation. Permanently marked with an excessive scar as a memento of numerous bladed confrontations with masked “healers.” Grossly swollen with self-importance (and possibly retained fluids imbibed during convalescence).
Not to be trusted under any circumstance.
Fell-in Snow
Fell-in Snow of House Contusion, Three Hundredth of His Name, the Bastard of Winter Conditions, King of Pains in the Ass, King Beyond All Reasonable Sensations of Pain, Lord of Screeches, the Green Welt, the Lingerer.
A persistent member of House Contusion. Arrives without warning during unsavory weather conditions—frequently noticed in unlikely (and unwanted and uncalled for) locations. Known to freeze up and cause restricted activities at inopportune moments.
Unfortunately, avoiding the outdoors does not prevent unannounced visits.
Table (The Limp) Bump
Table of House Bump, Acting Lunatic of the Reflex King, Master of Silent Screams, Lord of Hopping, Hand of the Crying Queen, Hand of the Twitching King, Lord Paramount of the Broken Nerves, Warden of the Imminent Collapse, the Limp.
The least wanted member of House Bump, appearing with no prior announcement. Provides plenty of laughter and entertainment, but only to others observing the resulting antics. Any suffering the indignities wish only for a cease to the torment. No external scarring remains, but mental wounds linger for days to come.
One should learn after the initial encounter, but memories always fade.
Shin Bark
Shin Bark of House Contusion, Shin Brokenbone, Shin Uglymark, Shin the Mark Bearer, Princess How’d-That-Happen, Lady of Why-Can’t-You-Walk, No-Idea-Where-This-Came-From.
A mysterious member of House Contusion. Known to appear and disappear (though departures are less frequent) on a whim. Changes in size and overall mien depending on mood (or whether an auspicious occasion is on the horizon). Takes a perverse delight in causing conflict between fast friends or significant others as to who is to blame for her arrival.
Unpredictable, naturally, but never gone, regardless of what one might hope.
Ser Nighttime (The Elbowslayer) Slam
Ser Nighttime Slam of House Bump, The Shock of Bump, The Lion Biting Your Arm, Ser Warden of Supersonic Screams, Lord Commander of the Nerve Shortcircuit, The Elbowslayer.
The most reviled member of House Bump appears during the most triumphant of incidents. Capable of halting any and all activity for minutes at a time, drawing immediate focus. Takes and commands all available resources, leaving gasps and exhaustion in the wake.
Despite the best attempts at avoidance, confrontation is unavoidable.
Car (Littlefinger) Injury
Car Injury, Master of Instant Tears, Lord of Spontaneous Profanity, Lord Protector of the Fractured Nailbed, Lord Paramount of the Instant Nausea, Lord Protector of the Please-Tell-Me-It-Isn’t-Broken, Littlefinger.
Separate from any of the great Houses, this sneaky bruise explodes into the world with color, noise, and shock. The most unsuspecting suffer worst from his twisted machinations, watching their most trusted turn on them. Everyone is left in frigid immobility, terrified to move forward or back lest they collapse into a new trap.
Not even constant vigilance can protect against this devious foe.
Prince Knee Blackening
Prince Knee of House Blackening, Three-Hundredth of His Name, Prince of the Moans, the Whimpers, and the Final Sighs, Lord of the Blackest Bruises, Protector of the Bandages.
The most irritating member of House Blackening. Even with constant airs of displeasure and discomfort, insists on showing up—always uninvited. Lingers well past anyone’s strained welcome. Remains oblivious to frequent attempts at cover-ups and outright blockades.
Unfortunately, considers even the slightest whisper an invitation to stay—for weeks.